Know the Red Flags
Some consequences in life are obvious. Run out of bounds, get a penalty. Drive 40 mph in a school zone, get a ticket. Relationships aren’t that clear, but they do have their own consequences. Dismiss degrading words and actions by saying, “he’s not that way all the time,” “she’s just insecure,” “you know I didn’t mean to hurt you,” or “but he really loves me,” and they almost always get worse over time. Dating violence doesn’t start with a slap. And even if things never escalate beyond control and verbal abuse, the consequence is still serious – a loss of freedom, respect, happiness, and even safety. Things we all deserve.
You may need to raise a red flag if you see or suspect that one person in a relationship…
- Has gotten the other to the point where they’re “not quite themselves” anymore.
- Makes the other person constantly question their actions or personality.
- Calls or text messages the other person excessively.
- Monitors the other person by screening their call logs, phone bills or e-mails.
- Is always showing up unannounced at the person’s home, work or hangouts.
- Tells the other what to do, what to wear or how to act.
- Embarrasses the other in public or private through insults or degrading comments.
- Acts jealous a lot and frequently accuses the other person of things (cheating, flirting, etc.).
- Keeps the other person from doing the things they enjoy in life.
- Doesn’t ever want the other person to spend any free time with family and friends.
- Controls how the other spends money.
- Uses money as a tool to keep the other person from doing things – or to make them do things.
- Shows or hints at an explosive temper.
- Physically harms the other person, or threatens to.
- Forces the other person to do something sexual, even if it’s something the couple has done before.
- Threatens to harm themselves if the other person leaves the relationship.